TORONTO – Sarah Palin unwittingly took a prank call Saturday from a Canadian comedian posing as French President Nicolas Sarkozy and telling her she would make a good president someday.
“Maybe in eight years,” replies a laughing Palin.
The Republican vice presidential nominee discusses politics, the perils of hunting with Vice President Dick Cheney, and Sarkozy’s “beautiful wife,” in a recording of the six-minute call released Saturday and set to air Monday on a Quebec radio station.
Palin campaign spokeswoman Tracey Schmitt confirmed she had received the prank call.
“Governor Palin was mildly amused to learn that she had joined the ranks of heads of state, including President Sarkozy and other celebrities, in being targeted by these pranksters. C’est la vie,” she said.
The call was made by a well-known Montreal comedy duo Marc-Antoine Audette and Sebastien Trudel. Known as the Masked Avengers, the two are notorious for prank calls to celebrities and heads of state.
Audette, posing as Sarkozy, speaks in an exaggerated French accent and drops ample hints that the conversation is a joke. But Palin seemingly does not pick up on them.
He tells Palin one of his favorite pastimes is hunting, also a passion of the 44-year-old Alaska governor.
“I just love killing those animals. Mmm, mmm, take away life, that is so fun,” the fake Sarkozy says.
Voting turnout in Canada has been on a steady decline for the past 20 years. In previous elections, the government blamed the low voter turnout on global warming and gang violence. But John Vanderbook, a Political Science professor at the University of Vancouver, has a different theory.
Vanderbook believes that the reason half of Canada isn’t going to the polls anymore is because they don’t want to miss any of the election coverage on TV.
“Most people work until 5:00pm, so they are left with two options: They can either go to their polling station to cast their vote, or they can rush home to enjoy the great election coverage on TV,” said Vanderbook. “Would you want to miss Peter Mansbridge’s coverage? I don’t think so.”
The Daily Seagull asked residents in Surrey if they agreed with Vanderbook’s theory. Many of the people we asked thought the theory was interesting, but didn’t have time to answer because they were in a rush to get home to see the TV coverage.
“No time to talk,” said Surreyite Clint Clark. “Gotsta get home to see Tony Parsons!”
Vanderbook believes that the solution to improve voter turnout is stop making people go to the polls, and start bringing the polls to the people. “Have you ever seen the show Canadian Idol?” said Vanderbook. “The singing sucks, but the process is genius.”
by Joe Nathan
May feels that her feminism, and marginally attractive looks take away from her party’s solid economic policy and strong environmental values. To combat this, May has a grown a gray mustache, just like NDP leader Jack Layton.
“This is a chance to prove that men and women are equal. You don’t need to have testosterone to grow a mustache, you just need to be a leader,” said May.
The Daily Seagull conducted an exclusive interview with Liberal leader Stephane Dion to find out if he would also consider growing a mustache to improve his leadership skills. “Yes, I would would kiss Elizabeth May and her her mustache,” replied Dion.
When it was pointed out to Dion that he just answered a question we did not ask, he just shrugged his shoulders. To help Dion understand we wrote out the question in English, French and braille. Unfortunately Dion was still unable to answer.
Since adding the mustache, May has been spotted rolling up her sleeves and speaking in a much deeper voice, which leads many to believe she has improved her chances for the next election which could be as soon as early 2009.
However, Chris Downs, longtime smoker and lightsaber user doubts the validity of the findings, “I don’t really know how they can just go out and claim something to be dangerous. I mean, have they ever even used a lightsaber? Treat it with respect it deserves and be sure to keep it away from children. Yeah, I always keep one in the house. You never know when there will be an intruder, or a stormtrooper.”
According to the study, the majority of deaths in fact occurred during the lighting of the cigarette with the fullly extended lightsaber. Producing a blade 10,000 times hotter than the sun, a lightsaber is a weapon of awesome destruction with the ability to cut through steel, concrete, bone, flesh and every other substance known and unknown to man. “Bringing that blade up to your face to kiss the tip of your cigarette is a dance with death itself,” Vanbusen goes on to say. “Try holding that baby steady when you have had a few beers too. I can see why those things are so dangerous. They are giving our product a bad name!”
Although Downs has yet to fall victim to the dangers of smoking cigarettes the writing may be on the wall. “Yeah, this scar that runs from my forehead down below my jaw was from a ski trip a couple years ago. I accidentally touched my face with the blade in my desperation to get that sweet smoke lit.”
Perhaps the most dangerous phenomenon that occurs between smokers is when two or more lightsaber wielding tobacco users are in the same room or area together. According to the study, there is a 90% higher chance that smoking will lead to death or dismemberment when smoking with a lightsaber when other lightsabers are around. Often these scenarios turn into what the study describes as “duels” between smokers whereby the lightsabers are used in a form of personal combat. On this Downs agrees, “The chances of surviving a direct lightsaber blow are pretty slim alright. I’ve seen a guy cut clean in half when two smokers with green lightsabers saw another guy use his red lightsaber to light his ciggy.”
When asked to comment on the findings of the study George Lucas was unreachable. However, Lucas Film Ltd. and his lawyers issued the following statement in response to the lightsaber accusations. “Lightsabers aren’t real, go back to your parents basement you damn Trekkies.”
Since becoming the Democratic nominee last Spring, Barack Obama has marketed himself with the same aggressiveness you would see from pop stars and Hollywood movies. It started with t-shirts and bumper stickers but soon progressed to video games and bed sheets. Obama even struck a deal with Alphabets cereal ensuring that they would only use the letters O-B-A-M-A for their cereal production.
The Obama campaign even interrupted regularly scheduled television on Wednesday with a 30 minute infomercial about himself. Television critics have praised the infomercial, some even suggesting it could be the ‘hit series of the Fall.’
The publicity blitzkrieg is great for the Obama campaign, but the American population is starting to feel the effects of Obama Overload (also known as ‘Double-O’).
Genny Myers, a faithful democrat, is one of many feeling the effects of Double-O.
“Everything I’ve purchased in the last 3 months is Obama related,” said Myers, as she munched on a bag of Obama potato chips. “I have Obama blue jeans, Obama toilet paper, Obama milk and Obama tampons. I even have an Obama sponsored information guide for the Republican party. At first I was able to consume my Obama in moderation, but not anymore. I’m O-ddicted!”
Myers is not alone, as thousands more Americans are suffering from Obama Overload. The situation has gotten so bad that an Obama rehab center has opened in Southern California. The center, called Friends Forgetting Obama, already has a waiting list.
David Green, the owner and counselor for the center, is overwhelmed by the applicants. “There is no quick cure for the Obama Overload,” said Green. “Overcoming Obama Overload is a painful process that takes time and dedication. I fear that if Obama wins the election, we may have a global epidemic on our hands. Which would be very good for my business.”
Only time will tell if the Obama Overload eventually subsides. In the meantime, Americans are reminded to take their Obama in moderation.
This article has been brought to you by Barack Obama. Yes we can.
Katie Couric: Who are the three people who are alive you would most like to have dinner with ... other than me? (laughter) Barack Obama: I would love to have dinner with Nelson Mandela before he passes away. Obviously he's getting on in years. The last time I saw him he was very sharp, but he was having hearing problems, and he's getting frail. You know, sitting down with him would be something I'd enjoy doing. Somebody I always love having a conversation with is Warren Buffet, who I talk to fairly frequently. We've become good friends. He's a good economic advisor of mine. And whenever I'm with him, what I'm always struck by is how much he enjoys what he's doing, and how unaffected he's been by his success. He's just a plain-spoken, you know, funny, he's like your favorite uncle - except worth $56 billion and really smart. So he's somebody I enjoy spending time with. The third person that I think I'd like to spend time with, well, this is my family, but I'd like to spend time with my grandmother, who I've only seen once in the last 19 months. She's been the rock of my family. She worked very hard all of her life, and made a lot of sacrifices on my behalf. And now she can't travel. She's got osteoporosis that's very bad. She's as sharp as they come. She explained to me the other day, she said you know the problem with getting old is that you're the same person, just your body is falling apart, and it's very frustrating. And that's how she feels. And you know, spending time with her is something that's going to be a priority after the election is over. John McCain: David Petraeus. Gen. David Petraeus is one of them. I have appreciated his leadership and his ability to inspire the young Americans, men and women who serve under him. I find him a fascinating individual. Obviously, I think that Meg Whitman, who I admire enormously, started out with five employees 12 years ago. Now a million-and-a-half people are living off eBay. She understands the American dream for young women in America, as well as all Americans. And of course, being a big sports nut, I would consider it a great, great pleasure to have dinner with any major league football or baseball player. You know, right now springs to mind Michael Phelps. You know, our Olympic champion. He's inspired America and a lot of young Americans to do what he's done. But any of our Olympians, I would consider it a great honor. There's a young man who grew up in Arizona and moved to New Mexico. He just won a gold medal in wrestling in the Olympics for the first time in 16 years, and his name is Henry Suhato, a young man, child of illegal immigrants who became an Olympic champion. I'd love to have dinner with him. By the way, I'd also like to have dinner with our 400-meter relay team, who dropped the baton, to tell them that we still love them.
Hewitt man surprised to hear his question read during the presidential debate ...!
By Paula Blesener
Tribune-Herald content editor
Alden Tarver didn’t even get a chance to hear the answer to his question.
The 25-year-old Hewitt man glanced at his mom Tuesday night when his first name popped up as they watched the televised debate between presidential contenders John McCain and Barack Obama.
“Whenever I heard my name, I kind of looked at her because I thought it was funny that it was somebody named Alden who got on there,” he said.
And when moderator Tom Brokaw announced the questioner was from Hewitt, Texas, he really perked up.
So did his friends. Even before the candidates fully outlined their views on how the United States could pressure Russia without reigniting a Cold War, the text messages and calls started coming. Tarver was too busy answering to hear the candidates.
Watching the clip later on the Internet, he wasn’t overly impressed.
“They kind of paraphrased my question, and it wasn’t exactly what I was looking for anyway,” said Tarver, who submitted his question on MySpace. “I felt they both kind of used it to jump into their own prerehearsed rhetoric about their policies about Russia. I don’t think either one of them either articulated what I wanted to hear.”
Debate organizers took thousands of questions from the studio audience of uncommitted voters and online participants and winnowed them down to 11, with other questions being posed by Brokaw.
Tarver, a Midway High School graduate who also attended McLennan Community College and Texas State Technical College, said the question grew out of a conversation with a friend. They debated whether a trade embargo would provide the leverage needed to push Russia to improve on humanitarian issues. They concluded it probably wouldn’t, he said. His original question to the candidates asked them their take on an embargo.
As for the rest of the debate, the undecided Tarver found it “mildly educational. I thought the candidates got a little more personal this time.”
The debate got a little personal for a Baylor University professor, too.
Alden Smith, who teaches classics and is associate dean of the Honors College, didn’t watch the debate. But he sure heard about it Wednesday.
He got 15 to 20 e-mails and lots of comments from people congratulating him as he walked about campus. They’d say, “Hey, I saw you were on CNN.”
Well, not quite.
“It wasn’t my question, but it was a good question,” said Smith, who would instead have asked how Obama and McCain would boost confidence in the stock market and whether the recent $700 billion bailout was a good idea.
And he was pleased to hear of a Central Texan involved in the election on the national stage.
“It’s his 15 minutes of fame, but I got two or three minutes of them,” he said.
As for Tarver, he’ll be having more conversations with friends and reading up on the candidates’ stances before making his pick in “probably one of the most important elections of our time.”
He didn’t vote in the primary but said he’s satisfied with how the presidential field shook out. “Either way, I don’t think I’m going to be too disappointed.”
And while they didn’t get his question just right, Tarver said the debate was a key moment for him.
“It kind of restored a little bit of faith for me that my participation in the political process actually counts for something,” he said.
pblesener@wacotrib.com
757-5718
What Alden wants to know
The question, from a transcript, is as follows:
BROKAW: Sen. McCain, this question is for you from the Internet. It’s from Alden in Hewitt, Texas.
How can we apply pressure to Russia for humanitarian issues in an effective manner without starting another Cold War?
MCCAIN: First of all, as I say, I don’t think that — we’re not going to have another Cold War with Russia.
But have no doubt that Russia’s behavior is certainly outside the norms of behavior that we would expect for nations which are very wealthy, as Russia has become, because of their petro dollars.
Now, long ago, I warned about Vladimir Putin. I said I looked into his eyes and saw three letters, a K, a G and a B. He has surrounded himself with former KGB apparatchiks. He has gradually repressed most of the liberties that we would expect for nations to observe, and he has exhibited most aggressive behavior, obviously, in Georgia.
I said before, watch Ukraine. Ukraine, right now, is in the sights of Vladimir Putin, those that want to reassemble the old Soviet Union.
We’ve got to show moral support for Georgia.
We’ve got to show moral support for Ukraine. We’ve got to advocate for their membership in NATO.
We have to make the Russians understand that there are penalties for these this kind of behavior, this kind of naked aggression into Georgia, a tiny country and a tiny democracy.
And so, of course we want to bring international pressures to bear on Russia in hopes that that will modify and eventually change their behavior. Now, the G-8 is one of those, but there are many others.
But the Russians must understand that these kinds of actions and activities are not acceptable and hopefully we will use the leverage, economic, diplomatic and others united with our allies, with our allies and friends in Europe who are equally disturbed as we are about their recent behaviors.
BROKAW: Sen. Obama.
MCCAIN: It will not be a re-ignition of the Cold War, but Russia is a challenge.
BROKAW: Sen. Obama? We’re winding down, so if we can keep track of the time.
OBAMA: Well, the resurgence of Russia is one of the central issues that we’re going to have to deal with in the next presidency. And for the most part I agree with Sen. McCain on many of the steps that have to be taken.
But we can’t just provide moral support. We’ve got to provide moral support to the Poles and Estonia and Latvia and all of the nations that were former Soviet satellites. But we’ve also got to provide them with financial and concrete assistance to help rebuild their economies. Georgia in particular is now on the brink of enormous economic challenges. And some say that that’s what Putin intended in the first place.
The other thing we have to do, though, is we’ve got to see around the corners. We’ve got to anticipate some of these problems ahead of time. You know, back in April, I put out a statement saying that the situation in Georgia was unsustainable because you had Russian peacekeepers in these territories that were under dispute.
And you knew that if the Russians themselves were trying to obtain some of these territories or push back against Georgia, that that was not a stable situation. So part of the job of the next commander-in-chief, in keeping all of you safe, is making sure that we can see some of the 21st century challenges and anticipate them before they happen.
We haven’t been doing enough of that. We tend to be reactive. That’s what we’ve been doing over the last eight years and that has actually made us more safe. That’s part of what happened in Afghanistan, where we rushed into Iraq and Sen. McCain and President Bush suggested that it wasn’t that important to catch bin Laden right now and that we could muddle through, and that has cost us dearly.
We’ve got to be much more strategic if we’re going to be able to deal with all of the challenges that we face out there.
And one last point I want to make about Russia. Energy is going to be key in dealing with Russia. If we can reduce our energy consumption, that reduces the amount of petro dollars that they have to make mischief around the world. That will strengthen us and weaken them when it comes to issues like Georgia.